The enclosed walls of the locker room give young men a chance to do their own gossiping, where they feel they can sexually degrade women, let offensive words fly freely, and talk about the most vulgar of topics - things they would not dare to say in the presence of their mothers, sisters or coaches. The locker room is seen as a sacred place for a team - a place where conversations should never escape the doors to the field or the pool. I am guilty of engaging in inappropriate locker room talk as a high school student, and I know today that my teammates and I have grown out of this stage of immaturity.īut what is it about the locker room that fosters such offensive and foul language? Why is “locker room talk” a real phenomenon, and why do high school boys feel inclined to engage in it? By writing this, I do not mean to demean or bring into question the character of the people with whom I share my experiences. It was a place where we became best friends and brothers. It truly was a safe space for us to be more than teammates. We could all hang out there before a long, two-hour practice, talk, do homework, and do stupid things like play volleyball over the lockers. My walks to the locker room after class were the most exciting parts of my day. There was something special about sharing a space with my swimming and water polo teammates, like our own home, where we would convene every day after school. My experience in the high school locker room was not, by any means, all negative. I wasn’t shunned by any means for being gay - after coming out as a senior, I was chosen one of three captains. I’m still not sure what made them more ignorant - the fact that they were using the word or the fact that they were using the word in front of an openly gay teammate. Typically, they would still apologize for it, but it wouldn’t stop them from using it again the next day or the next opportunity they had to let the word slip off their tongue without realizing its damaging consequences. I would look at them with a judgmental eye and say, “I’m not offended by your ignorance, that’s your own problem.” When that word was spoken in my presence as an openly gay student in the high school locker room, my water polo teammates would pause, realize what they said, and slowly look at me to see if I was offended.
And more often than not, it’s been in a locker room. I’ve heard it spoken in my presence as a closeted gay man, been called it as a closeted gay man, and even been provoked by the word as an openly gay man.
If I had a dollar for every time I was in the locker room and heard the word “faggot” in high school, I’d be a rich man.